Snow storm Wednesday, Feb 2 2011 

There is nothing like a good snow storm to envoke the good will of writing. I must say that I have never actually had the desire to write about snow in the past, but today is a new day and a new year. I actually have just completed writing my first poem of the year, and the first one in months. I was surprised at house easy it flowed out of me. There was no hesitating to find the proper words or anything like it. It felt great to have idea’s so fresh in my mind. It’s a short poem, but one that may start a precedent for more in the near future.

I finally received the anthology baring my published poem in the mail yesterday afternoon. I must say i was more than exciting to see one of my works in print. I can hardly describe how thrilling it was to see one of my own published amongst many a creative writers’. I spent many hours last night peering over many of the poems, and I must say there are a lot of great pieces in there. From young, and old, of all different regions of Canada and even other countries. It’s nice to see us so united in one way or another.

I am currently working on a short story for a magazine. I don’t have it up to par yet, but its a work in progress, and i must admit that I am beginning to feel proud of it.¬† I have months before it must be submitted, so I’m crossing my fingers and hoping that I may be lucky enough to be published once more.

Enjoy the snow ūüôā

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The day of Rest? or day of reflection? Sunday, Jan 30 2011 

I name this day a day of solitary reflection.¬† Here I lay amongst the possessions of my room, the dissray¬† of my clothes and random pieces of paper are hardly my concern at the moment. I don’t care for my possessions, nor the unruly assembly of my items; I am more concerned about my lack of inspiration, and getting myself back on track. I am trying to find within myself all of the words and emotions that I seem to have lost.

I have not actually written a poem since the summer and have not actually been inspired since…¬† I can’t even remember when. I’ve landed my self in quite a pickle. I love to write, or at least I used to. I am trying to figure out why I have lost the ability to put my thoughts upon paper effectively. When did I stop seeing the beauty in all that is around me? When did I loose interest in logging my thoughts?

” Failure” is a matter of opinion Saturday, Jan 29 2011 

So out of the three magazines that I submitted poems to last year, two of them rejected me. Instead of feeling dumbed out about this, I am actually quite the opposite. If anything I am ready to re-submit to this years issues and prove that I can be a good writer. The feed back that I got from one editor was well received and I am more than glad that I was able to get at least that. I needed the constructive criticism. I intend to broaden my horizons and start writing afresh… or writing new material at all would be good…

Lost Tuesday, Nov 9 2010 

I have literally just received in the mail the plaque I ordered baring my own newly published poem “Lost” from the Poetry Institute of Canada. I must say it is rather beautifully crafted medium in size, framed blue and gold in the centre where my poem is placed. My name, age and current city of residence is placed upon it, in bold at the bottom, as well as where it has been published.. I daresay it will make a great addition to my wall.

I am so greatful that i was lucky enough to be considered for this contest and published, for me this is a big milestone, as small as it seems. This is my first published work and I’m very excited to start working on some new materal this experience has inspired me to write again and i am¬† most excited.

Fingers are crossed Monday, Oct 18 2010 

I am in realization that I have not updated my blog in a while. Actually in general my blog is rather lacking in more ways than one. It doesn’t really matter because I am writing now and that’s all that matters.

I still can’t say that I’m into the whole writing thing anymore. I’ve written some more poetry, but my journal has been for the most part neglected. I haven’t been writing any short stories, and I can’t help but avoid it all. I don’t really know what is the matter with me, but that is besides the point that I wanted to make in the first place….

I recently sent another poem into yet another magazine. I’m rather excited, it is a woman’s magazine, not that I will specify which one it is but it’s a woman’s magazine nonetheless.¬† Since I am a major feminist I can’t help but be proud of my choice.¬† I had to¬† kind of relate my poem to women and nature… I can’t say that it was difficult for me like I said I am a feminist, and I love nature.

I can’t count how many times that I’ve purposely went on walks in order to find parks or little pieces of nature so that I could really get inspired. In the city you will be surprised at how many places you could get inspired. There are some beautiful places here, it is just a little harder to find. It’s nothing like going up north, but when your stuck in the city like I am you’ll do anything to find that little piece of sanity in all the busel of the city.

Hoping to find some inspiration soon. I’ll write some more in the next month…

Solution? Friday, Sep 17 2010 

I think I have finally understood the reason behind my writer’s block! For a couple of months now I have been lounging around at home, not being as productive as I would prefer, due to laziness and physical fatigue. I had a job a few months back, that I had kept for exactly a year, but I got fired and have been spending most of my time with my partner, fulfilling his needs and running around for him. When running around for him is not possible, I¬† write in my journal or read a book or listen to music or work out, which normally sends positive emotions coursing through me, but that is all my life has become. I love doing things for my partner, it fills me with a sense of purpose and a happiness which I can’t describe, but I can’t fail to see now that i need to have other experiences in my life. Friends, I go out with once in a while, which suits me perfectly. I’ve grown almost into a hermit. Sure, I share a¬† lot of laughs with my friends, but hanging out with them doesn’t benefit me always. I need something new in my life. A new and exciting experience. I need to go out and do something that I would not normally do. I need the zest for living back in my life. Walking doesn’t satisfy me anymore, Writing isn’t what it used to be, reading only takes me away from my current reality, but this isn’t a life. I need a job, I need a purpose. I need to meet new people and see things that I haven’t. I’ve been looking for inspiration, but only finding it in my muse which leaves me writing about the same things thrice over.¬† I do not like what my life has become. Certain aspects of it remain what keeps me thriving and without them the changes in my life could not work, but i can’t pretend that I don’t need inspiration and I need a fix fast.My partner has a life and can’t keep me busy all the time; he needs his space as well. It would be unjust to depend upon him.I was thinking of applying for a position at a new job, which would certainly keep me busy, but why stop there? I want to start creating things, selling things, making money… Volunteering…¬† I need something more. I’m searching and searching.. What can possibly satisify me?

S.S

Music Thursday, Sep 16 2010 

Considering that music is a great part of my meditation process, and helps me to write with a greater clarity, I can’t help but wonder what other writer’s listen to ( if music helps them at all) when they are writing or trying to clear their minds. I myself enjoy listening to a lot of Jazz, but Classical does the trick too depending on what mood I am in.

I love listening to the saxophone, particularly when I am writing Poetry. It soothes me like nothing else can, but for some unknown reason Canon in D does the trick as well.

blank Thursday, Sep 16 2010 

I think that I may be trying too hard to get inspiration. I have spent the last hour in serious meditation, trying to organize my thoughts to place in a poem, but I can’t see the beauty in anything. My mind is a complete blank. As a writer this troubles me. I have always been able to write where ever I have been or whatever I have been doing. I am listening to some soft jazz, letting the saxophone engulf me as it normally does in hopes that I can clear my mind, to rid myself of the white noise that is in my head… And oh my God the words are coming to me…. Until my next post.

S.S

Hard work really does pay off Wednesday, Sep 15 2010 

I have been writing since the age of ten, ever since I became unable to play sports on teams- ever since I got sick basically. I’ve written short stories, poetry and even made an attempt at a novel. I am so happy to tell that finally my hard work is paying off. One can almost say that I used writing as substitute for my lack of ability to be as active as I would prefer. The other day I got a letter stating that my poem” lost” is going to be published in an anthology called “island mist” in the winter of 2010- 11. All that I have to do now is send in my author release form. I am on my way to the post office now. Yes, I’m blogging on the go, thank heavens for the iPad. Anyway, that is besides the point. When I received this letter, not only was I happy but I was surprised. I had people read this poem in particular and was criticized by more than one person. I suppose I chose this poem for the anthology to be defiant. My defiance has finally paid off. I still have a long way to go in terms of my writing career, but this is a start.

The truth hurts, but lies kill. Saturday, Sep 4 2010 

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but what they don’t tell you is that the way a picture is portrayed will differ from person to person. That being stated, I do not know what to think. I have found a picture, which could prove me right about a number of things, but then I could be wrong. Do I think I am wrong? Or is it that I want so bad to be wrong I’ll do anything to try to convince myself differently. I’m not being exactly¬†explanatory but there is only so much that I can say without actually exposing the person. It shows a person that I care for deeply and someone else and that is the extent I can go… It could be innocent, then again it could not be. I don’t rightly know. Do I jump the gun? or Do I accept the vague¬†explanation?¬†¬†I can’t decide, but I’m just tired of being lied to, and I’m tired of being happy only to discover that everything is not as it seems.

There is nothing worse in the world then being lied to or having some¬†valid¬†information purposely hidden from you. It hurts beyond measure; it makes you sink lower and lower, until you have no faith in humanity and no trust with even yourself. ¬†Lied to once and you’ll think you’ve been lied to a million times over. Lies make it harder to love, harder to trust and even harder to hate. ¬†There is some truth in the saying “ Secrets don`t make friends.“ Secrets hurt, lies hurt. The sad truth is that everyone lies. It`s either we must accept it and move on or sanction ourselves from the world and hide within our own little¬†realties¬†that can easily be broken is one isn`t careful.

I think that there comes a time in everyone`s life when we grow weary of feeling things and reliving the same emotions over and over again. There`s a time when it`s like enough is enough; I just want to not feel; I just want to numb myself. There is too much negativity in our lives and it needs to stop. We just want to close ourselves off from the world for a while, and let the world run amok without us, but the problem is the world doesn`t stop when we decide to, and our lives don`t halt unless we die.

Just another cheery little note from,

S.S

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